What is ‘micro-dating’ and how could it improve your relationship?
Between our jobs, our friends and our true crime documentary obsession, we rarely have much time spare for quality time with our partners. Which is likely why micro-dating is becoming more and more popular among couples.
Micro-dating refers to the technique of creating smaller pockets of time for a date – so rather than having a whole evening dedicated to one, you might have half an hour, or even just 10 minutes. Yes, we know that 10 minutes doesn’t sound like much, but given that the last time we had a proper date night was months ago, we’ll take what we can get at this point – plus, these smaller chunks add up, and when regularly scheduled-in, can amount to quite a lot more quality time with your crush than usual.
“Due to terms like ‘date days’, ‘date nights’ and ‘staycations’, there is a misconception that hours on end are required to connect with another, get to know them, to deepen a connection with them or to keep the flame alive. The reality? Life is busy, date days come around once in a blue moon, and if you don’t plan in advance, you might end up spending lots more time in-office than in-love,” relationship expert and founder of OPENHOUSE, Louise Rumball tells GLAMOUR.
“Micro-dating is ultimately about looking at your day and working out where you have shorter moments that you might be able to share with your partner. These may not be the right moments to have deep and meaningful conversations, but they can be the perfect opportunity to connect, check in, laugh, and even share some physical touch,” Louise explains. “Much like a quickie, there is a time and a place for both micro and macro moments of human connection but with less planning, more spontaneity, and a time limit, these more succinct micro-moments can be a really exciting addition to your dating repertoire.”
If you want to think about micro-dating with your partner, have a look at your day as a whole and work out which parts of the day you might be able to share with your loved one instead of, for example, scrolling on Instagram.
In a relationship?
“Instead of waking up, rolling over and picking your phones up, try a no-phone policy for the first 15 minutes of the day. Grab your loved one a fresh coffee and sit in bed together, discussing what each of you have on for the day ahead and talk about how you feel. Share a dog? Why not both go out for the morning walk together, wrap up warm, hold hands and use it for some quality time to discuss what you want to achieve from the week, rather than viewing it as a one-person chore or an errand,” Louise advises. “
“Clashing work schedules? Why not align your lunch breaks and schedule a quick video call so you can get to see your favourite face and get a mid day pick me up before bouncing back into work mode. Bonus points if you get outside for a walk at the same time too. Busy social calendars? If you are both of out for the evening, why not meet for a quick 15 minute drink before heading off for the night individually. These stolen moments together, planned in advance, might be short but are likely to feel like it really is date night all over again – just without the incessant planning.”
Micro-dating without a long term partner? Yes, you can micro-date without an official partner: “Keeping your initial dates short and sweet, dropping them off a coffee in you’re nearby in the neighbourhood (‘I’ve got 10 mins for a coffee, does that work?’), or dropping them off something at work because you were downstairs can be a great way to get some face to face, add excitement to the process of getting to know someone, whilst keeping the mystery around the initial dating dance,” Louise says.
“Micro-dating is ultimately about looking at parts of your day that get lost to ‘life’ and re-allocating them to spend with the person closest to you. It’s a sure fire way to feel connected, cared for and tuned in with the one you love, no matter the distance or number of notifications on your phone.”
And in today’s society, we need that more than ever before.